Thursday, March 12, 2009

Complicated case

News sources, especially entertainment news, have been featuring the Chris Brown-Rhianna story day after day. There are reports that the couple are still together even after the now infamous (alleged) physical assault. Although it is unfortunate that she would feel compelled to forgive and forget, we need to look closer at the reasons why it might be happening and use this as a chance to expand education on intimate partner violence.
It is easy for someone outside the relationship to say “I’d leave him” but for the abused person things aren’t that simple. They may feel they truly love the person or that this person is the only one who will ever love them. Financial issues may prevent a woman from leaving especially if she is unaware of or unable to get support from outside resources.
Women are socialized to be partners, to take care of families, fall in love and get married. Girls play house while boys play cops & robbers. Girls play with dolls while boys play with water guns. This begins the process of girls developing an identity around relationships. Boys on the other hand are exposed to more violence, which could contribute to future conflicts. (Let me clarify at this point: the vast majority of men do not commit violent acts against women, but even one man that does is one man too many.)

The web of reasons a woman stays with an abuser is very sticky and she will need help to break free from its clutches.
To learn more about intimate partner violence go to these websites:

http://www.abanet.org/domviol/statistics.html

http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/IPV-FactSheet.pdf

http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32347

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